@SnSDairyQueen - I'm sorry they're all being stinkers. If I were you, I'd lock the doors, stop answering the phone (when you see its them) and let them get the hint. Its hard enough you're dealing with his passing. Unfortunately they might be acting that way because he talked about you to them behind your back too. My ex did the same thing. He would go to his parents & talk trash about me to his siblings & parents, so when he finally said he wanted a divorce, they were horrible to me. It was YEARS later that they realized he was lying to them about me...even lied to them saying he was paying child support when he wasn't. Once they caught him in his lies, they turned on him & helped me get support for C. Just last week, I was greeted with open arms & tear filled eyes from his dad & 1/2 brother when I took C to the wedding. It was nothing short of amazing.

Some day the truth will come out. His family will realize how amazing you were to him, even though you didn't have to be.

Unless there is a will that he left behind...his family can not legally take anything from you. If they give you problems & push you...push back. Let them know legal actions will be taken if they continue...or tell them what they CAN take, & be sure there's an officer at your house when they come. This way they can only take what you've allowed them to...& you don't have to stress out because an officer is keeping the peace.

When my dad passed away, I was only 7...almost 8. I remember my family doing all they could to get everything back from my ex-step-mom. She didn't fight, but could have. She's actually on my FB too. My family blamed her for my dad's death...because she refused to talk to him. He was drunk & she knew he was abusive when he drank. She was at her sister's house & her brother in law had a Vietnam flashback. He ended up with a gun & killed my dad. As a child, I only knew what family told me...they hated her & said she was the reason for his death...but the truth was, he sealed his own fate. He chose to drink. He chose to go to the house drunk, and he chose to demand, threaten & cause trouble while intoxicated. Because of his choices, he died that night. It was a tragedy because we grew up without our father. Every choice we make determines where we end up in life...good or bad.

I know you're not responsible for what happened to him. Why was he without his oxygen to begin with? It doesn't make sense. How do you know he wasn't feeling so miserable about his own health & the life he was secretly living...that he didn't purposely do this? We punish ourselves with eds, which is a slow way to die or try controlling something when all else spirals out of control. When we feel horrible inside, we find a way to deal with it. For all we know, B, he could have been so miserable living with the failing health... that he purposely left the oxygen tank where he did, knowing the risk. I don't know. It just doesn't make sense why he wouldn't have had it, if he always needed it...unless...he reached a low point (depression?) and decided he didn't want to go on??

Regardless of thoughts or speculations, I don't believe for a second there is anything you could have done differently. Everyone has a number when its their time to go. I'm not saying God wanted it to happen, but maybe he was so lost in his sin.... he left an open door for something bad to take place. Its hard to say.

Many people probably don't know what to say, so they choose silence. I can relate to your pain from different perspectives & have gotten to know you enough over the years through here & the other site...that I feel silence isn't good enough. You need an outlet, and I could relate...so, know I'm here for you. I'd give you my phone # to call me too if my kids weren't so stinking LOUD all the time. My only conversations anymore with adults are..... ONLINE in emails, on a wall, blog, or texts. Love you to pieces sweetie. I sure hope you know I mean it when I say it. I'd sooooo hug your guts out through all this! Since I can't physically hug, I'll use my words to do it instead.

Losing my dad to alcohol was just one of many things I had to overcome. There was also molestation (too young to speak & tell) and physical abuse from a male babysitter. He also forced us to eat whatever his wife made for a meal. I dealt with verbal abuse from my step-father & he blamed me for his own failing marriage. Verbal, emotional, & physical abuse from my ex husband along with rape during my marriage to him...more verbal & physical abuse from an exBF before I ended up with the ex-husband... there's a long list from the past that pushed me to the world of EDs.

When I was in my teens and later in my 20's I was suicidal. If you go back to my blog in 2004-05, it really shows. If I hadn't become pregnant with my youngest, Isaac, I wouldn't be here today. God knew I NEEDED my pregnancy with Isaac to survive. I still fought the eds all through my pregnancy, but nothing to the extreme path on was on. It got bad again after I had him. I was nearly passing out while kids were running around...my family threatened to hospitalize me back then.

I didn't think it was a suicide with your hubby, but considering lately what I've see with people around me...I couldn't rule out a slight possibility. My BFF seemed happy then all the sudden overdosed on meds of all kinds trying to kill herself back in March. It was prayer & God's grace that allowed her to survive! My kids & I prayed through the night... she defied the doctors when she pulled through without any physical damage to her body...and the fact she didn't have a heart-attack or stroke when her BP was through the roof is testimony of God's intervention. According to doctors, she shouldn't have made it through the night. She seemed so happy.....no signs of anything, then out of no where... she tried.

Anyway, I have 4 kids here tonight. The boys both have their blue hair & need to get to bed for church in the morning. Girls are still goofing off outdoors.

Love you bunches B!