November 6, 2011
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Hubby came home I'm up 2lbs instantly....wt???
It never ceases to fail. The minute hubby pulls into the driveway, I start putting on weight. LOL Its crazy!
I was up 2 lbs this morning, however, have had no BM in a couple days........so.........I drank tea to 'help' me go. TMI........I know I know........
I was at church this morning dressed in dark jeans that are slim in the hip & thigh & flare out at the bottom. With this I had a gray, black & white animal print tank, & a black satin shrug over it. I paired it all with a wide black belt around my waist, I black floral necklace, and black mary-jane style 4.5" platform style heels. Okay.......so........ I'm feeling grossly disgusting this morning because of my weight being up 2#'s and had to fetch my boys out of the playroom. One of the mothers going to get her kids stops me in the foyer & says, "OH MY GOSH! LOOK AT YOU SKINNY MINNIE! Have you LOST MORE WEIGHT?? You look so stinking skinny!!!"
ME of course is thinking, "What-ever......" While hubby is standing there grinning.....as if trying to hold back a chuckle at her LOUD ENTHUSIASM. hahahaI turned to R, whom is 2 years younger than me & a mother of 5.........yes, FIVE children....... 2 of which are FRATERNAL TWINS. The woman can't be more than a beautiful size 4 at most, and SHE is pointing out MY weight loss........ She is the INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN with a beautifully envious pair of legs might I add. LOL I'm feeling pretty crappy at this point being in the same room as her.
I finally look at hubby, who is again trying to avoid my eye contact, then I turned to look at her. I smiled politely & said, "No, actually........... I've in fact gained 2..........." in a hushed tone, hoping other women around us would stop staring at me. There was at least 6 other mothers around.......all overweight. Suddenly R says loudly, "OH MY GOSH!!!!!! I WISH I COULD GAIN 2 POUNDS AND STILL LOOK LIKE THAT!!! YOU LOOK SO STINKING SKINNY!!! HOW THE HECK CAN YOU GAIN WEIGHT AND LOOK SO THIN STILL???" I looked at hubby with a 'HELP ME!' look on my face.... He smiled, then turned his back on me. LOL
I smiled politely at her again and jokingly said, "Its the BELT honey.......its the BELT! Its wide.......put it around the small of your waist.......it only makes me appear smaller than I am....." I gave a chuckle in hopes she'd be satisfied & walk off. NOPE. She stood there & told me she also had a wide belt similar to mine, but its white, not black, so it doesn't slim her well. At this point, hubby was NO WHERE to be found. He not only turned his back, but WALKED AWAY. I told her I've not changed much weight wise, just changed the way I dress...and mentioned my clothing just 'fits' me now, where as a few weeks ago it was too big. She grinned from ear to ear looking me over again from heat to toe & commended me on my loss. *sigh* It was a little humiliating.
During church I had a few women evil eye me....... then after church had a couple men casually stroll up to me in hopes to catch my attention.......married men.......every one of them........ *sigh* I'm asking myself....... do I want this kind of attention? Funny how a few of those 'married' men didn't notice me 30+ pounds ago........now their making fools of themselves trying to get as close to me as they can for at least a short conversation. Two of the men I have tried to befriend their wives, so they casually come talk to me anyway. One had been missing since July or August, so last time he saw me, I was 180+ pounds. He kept looking at me from afar with a quizzical look on his face. I could see the gears turning as he tried to wrap is head around the mass changes I made in the time he was gone. His wife came to our house with their son, Isaac's BFF. She was friendly, but eyed me from top to bottom over and over again. I could see she was sizing me up. I fear that any CLOSE friendship there is not possible. When women do this with me...its because they fear I'm a threat to their marriage. I HATE THAT. I have this happen all the time, which is why I have more male friends than female. My closest female friends have said over and over again that I never carry myself like a person who would try taking their spouses...nor anyone else for that matter. They always mention the fact I always seem so humble around others & treat males & females the same, however, for whatever reason....... not all women want to take the time to know me. They only see the 'well dressed lass' who could potentially be a threat. I believe its their own insecurities that drive them into these evil stares.
Sorry, I began a rant..... I'm simply so fed up with being over-weight...... then I lose weight & suddenly everyone makes a big stink about it. Women glare at me with the look of death, My best friend calls me Barbie, another friends husband calls me twig, then I have R making such an embarrassing fuss about my weight, that I want to hide in a hole so NEW women won't give me the death stare. Is it too much to ask for more than 2 good female friendships in life??? I only have 2 that I can call my best friends, that are NOT part of my family. Only 2 that I can trust with almost anything, and know they won't judge me.
Okay.....SORRY, another RANT. I'll stop..........
Comments (8)
its really sad other women could be so jealous! I have a good friend said when you lose weight our friendship will be over because I can't trust my husband with you..WTF? ugh..oh well, keep being yourself and happy!! xo
Oh girl...I hear you....I wish I could say B is my biggest source of trouble when it comes to my weight but I know it's my own habits....at same time...you know my rant...I can't drop five pounds without him getting weird on me.
As for the TMI....if we can't talk about it here...where can we? Granted I find my self in some really outrageous conversations with some of the older women in our congregation...BUT...LOL
I think that your height likely contributes to the "issue"....I get the same thing....somehow being tall, being pregnant, red headed, long hair, short hair, long fingers, nice clothes, ugly clothes, a sense of style.... or anything that is "unusual" but "common" at once seems to make it alright to discuss you as though you aren't there or call even more attention to you.
Our problem is we were both taught that kind of behaviour was rude and unsociable...and I continue to be guilty of thinking other people were taught the same manners and social skills training that I received. LOL.
That said...IDK why women insist on doing this....it sometimes make me ashamed of our gender...the way we undermine one another and hurt each other....and women are supposed to be the supportive, nurturing ones?
And then the men.....don't even get me started.....I think I told you about my two recent moron encounters.....both married men...it's been about a month or so now....but still "sticks in my craw". LOL
And you are right....even at my weight and in this vicinity, as I drop weight, i start getting the "evil eye"....just yesterday I complemented a woman on her outfit (and she has recently lost about 35 pounds) and she said her hubby didn't like the outfit that I commented on...and he walks up and starts telling me how she lost all this weight but insist on dressing in this "mu mu-esque" clothes...she was wearing a silk tunic style top over a slim skirt...the fabric was very clingy and the top was somewhat low cut...I wouldn't have worn it due to the cleavage exposure....not without a camisole or something....it was actually kind of sexy due to the cling and the low cut neckline. But not his cuppa...fair enough...but then he (the moron) says "I told her she should dress more like you. I really like this dress on you and the fact that you wear high heels."
I was wearing a straight black skirt with a form fitting top but not tight or revealing, and yes, my 3.5 inch black open toed sandals...it was in the eighties yesterday and I dont think I will get many more opps to wear them this season. This is one of my fave outfits because it is slimming...the top has a wrap waist with a silver buckle that makes my waist look, well, like I have a waist and overall, its very slimming and minimizing...the top skims the skirt in such a way to reduce the hips and of course I wear "proper" support foundations so I have dont have roly poly mounds....which is the one thing SHE should do....even with the weight she's lost, she is still very round (not down to "rubenesgue" yet...and could seriously stand some better support underneath. HA...I am so very SOUTHERN. LOL
so even though I complemented her and gave him an evil look...I suddenly get the eye from her...so I excuse myself and walk away....
How is it my fault that she married an idiot?
I can't even claim family as friendly and supportive....mine is that dysfunctional. LOL On the level of Joseph....I think the whole reason God let his brother chunk down the hole and sell him into slavery was God knew the boy would just be ruined if he didn't get him away from his crazy family. LOL
And my close women friends, for the most part, I am pretty sure my husband really can barely stand most of them...he's polite and tolerates them but if they are around more than a few hours he disappears. To be honest....I love them myself...but if they are around more than a few hours at a time...I want to disappear myself. LOL I need time to myself...and some things I don't feel like i can share with even them...
I have one person in real life that I can say anything to...talk about my family, my marriage, my eating habits and/or lack thereof....and he goes back and forth fancying himself in love with me and will periodically try and destroy my marriage....he and my husband despise one another and so I can't let him come around....so unfortunately, I have to keep him at a distant all because he can't keep his heart, head and penis corralled and separated.
My one real life gf that has been in my life forever, is completely unreliable because of her own issues....and I've learned over the years that any of my friends might betray me if they think it's for my "own" good....like when I doing less than well with weight issues....they would dare to tell my husband or worse, my mother....speak the truth to me...but if I disregard it...that's on me...that doesn't give the other person the right to break my trust and do an end run around me..I don't care if they justify it with love or care or whatever else...at the end of the day it's still disloyal and not trustworthy.
That's why you are like one of two who are this page AND my FB and one of five who know anything or are apart of my past with the ED that are on there. LOL
I am not an easy person to love...but you know what...I will honestly take your secrets and lies to the grave....I will never betray anyone....loyalty, even when its bad is that important to me.
THE ONLY TIME I have ever violated that is when my then husband, now ex was hurting my children...and that's a very different story and purpose...a woman's obligation to her children is a whole 'nother ballgame, as you well know.
See...you inspired me to rant right along with you.LOL Love you much!
@josmeg - That's terrible. Unfortunately too many women are that way. However they fail to see that its the HUSBAND that's the problem if she can't trust HIM with YOU. Not your error, its HIS.
@RedlineAngel - Its sad to say, but you and a couple other women that are also here & on my fb know more about me than my BFF that live here only a mile from me. lol There's a lot I won't tell her.....simply because I KNOW she'll rat me out to my mom &/or hubby.
She was over about a week ago, when my mom was also here. She'd not seen me since I had weighed 180's...I was down to 154ish the day she came. She flipped her lid. My mom showed up, then the 2 of them were in my kitchen while I went into another room to do laundry. They were whispering to each other. Out the corner of my eye, I saw my mom shrug dramatically, while shaking her head saying "I don't know...." with concern. I know darn well my BFF asked my mom if I was eating.
My mom came over again today, and the very FIRST WORDS out of her mouth after looking at me was, "ARE YOU EATING??? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT AGAIN!" I laughed & told her what happened sunday, then told her the truth, I'M UP 2 POUNDS!!! I'm thinking its the dark-wash jeans I wear that throws them off & has them thinking I'm smaller than I am. I went on to EAT in front of her while she was here, just to prove I WAS EATING! It might not be as much as 'normal' people, but I was in fact eating.
Its times like this I WISH you and I lived closer together. I know I can trust you with anything, which is why I always miss you when you're no on here. lol I have a few other xangaians on my fb I can say the same about. We'd also be able to kick each other in the butt to keep working on our weight goals. LOL
As for the moron in church......... he basically HUMILIATED his wife in front of you, then in HER EYES was 'hitting' on you as he gave a compliment. She now sees you as a threat to HER marriage, and probably put a target on your back. I HATE THAT.
I've concluded I'm better off not getting too close to women around me here. It seems they either rat me out to my mom & hubby about weight things, OR their husbands make a comment, that causes them to 'rethink' their friendship with me. Why are men so dumb sometimes??? *sigh*
BTW.......THANKS FOR RANTING WITH ME! I knew you had my back! hahaha
Hey Beautiful!
Glad to see that as always, in spite of my rambling, bad punctuation and grammar, you still get it. LOL
Bunny ended up having to confront the moron yesterday, on some other issues (creating drama in the work, gossiping, etc and while he was at it, he fronted him on the way he talks to his wife and to B's wife in the process....meanwhile, he had me text the wife and chat with her, just friendly, but she opened up a little about the husband (last year they nearly split up) and the ONLY reason she opened up to me then was because of the troubles B and I have had in the past...she said that it was good to know we aren't "perfect" and could understand their situation....anyway, over the course of the conversation I made some well timed comments about my husband (good ones) and had some commiserating comments about husbands in general and their foibles. By the time we finished, I said something like how glad I am we are friends and we can talk about this stuff...she was happy as a clam...I think reassured of at least my role in her husband's life and back on track as far as I and B are concerned.....sigh...damage control.
B told me this morning to be sure and do some heavy prayer and Bible reading time because we are under heavy spiritual attack...which explains a LOT....his mood of late, things going on around us, like this nonsense Sunday and some other stuff of a more preternatural nature...I won't say supernatural cause I don't want to give the morons that kind of credit for ability.
So been doing that and feel much better overall.
@RedlineAngel -
There's been a lot of people lately under
spiritual attacks. Must be God is about to cause a massive breakthrough!
We have "The Call" with Lou Ingle coming to MI, over the the Detroit
area. I have family that are going to it. Its going to be amazing, but
I'm certain there's a lot of attacks going on before it happens. That
city is heavily populated with muslims, in fact, christians were JAILED
for handing out tracks & preaching on the streets to muslims. Cops
took their camera, then forced them to move many blocks away..... Such a
sad day when AMERICANS can't talk about God in the streets, but Muslims
can do as they wish on American soil. I know THE CALL is going to
Detroit for this reason. Its the key to the state. When God starts
moving there........... there will be such an amazing outbreak all over
our state, and hopefully our country! I'm excited, but know we as
Christians need to be doing heavy prayer for this country, and for what
God is wanting to do in it.
I've been praying for you guys as
leaders, but also as a family. Seems many Christians are dealing with
sons that have turned from their roots. I know everything is in His
timing, and those praying for their sons, will see the turn around.
My
mom was here again today........ I purposely grabbed some lime corn
chips and homemade salsa to eat while she was here. LOL She ate them
with me, so I only ate HALF the amount I would have otherwise. I was
determined to keep her off my case about my weight. I only have 1 more
pound to lose so I'll be where I was before hubby sabotaged me. LOL I
can do that. I bet by sunday I'll be back to 152 or less....however its
my premenstrual week also....... so I might need some diurex to remove
excess water retention. That could also be half my problem. *ugh*
Good
to see you were able to talk to your friend and smooth things over. I'm
sure she's more at ease with you about it now. As for her man, I would
have had a few words to say to him myself. lol There was no excuse for
his behavior. Love is a choice, and it sounds like hes choosing to seek
it somewhere else other than with his wife. Creep
@no1knowsmyfriendana - B said the same thing you did...he's said he has about this guy is a coward, liar and a weasel...and that he has definitely noticed that the man makes a point of speaking to me, makes a "beeline" my direction when I walk into the church....I'm actually proud of B...cause in the past...he would have treated me like garbage for it, even though I'd done nothing. He hadn't said a word until I did...ironically...when the guy was posting his stupid stuff on FB yesterday that B and I were both reacting to until we deleted the posts that started it, I texted the jerk and asked him if he had issue with one or both of us and if he did, he should do as our saviour suggest and bring it to us personally rather than making ambiguous comments both in public and on FB....and about that time, B was talking with him....I told B what I'd done and we had a good laugh (GMTA moment) and they got straight...so B told me to text him again and tell him I wasn't being sarcastic, but sincere that I do love him, BROTHER....I never miss a chance to remind the idiot we are in Christ and that is OUR relationship (our ONLY relationship) I have to work with him on many projects but I am always careful that its never alone or that I say or do anything to encourage him to even think sinfully in that direction...and his wife...she has a LOT of issues ( I can say, as a veteran of issues. LOL) but she really is a sweetheart, very gentle...she's OCD as all get out and gets stressed easily...but hey, I understand that....she's sincere, loving, kind and she is someone I want to have and keep as a friend....
That said....in our role, regarding B's work (and mine) this is NOT a couple I would want to have for enemies....they are basically harmless as friends but as enemies...would be LETHAL. In other words, you might not care if they are on your side, perse...but you sure don't want 'em against you.
I will have to write you on FB about the deal with Sunny....it's crazy but I know you will understand what is going and that will make your and my prayers more effective (when two are in agreement.) New developments today w/regards to B anyway.
I got your FB novel, and shot a novel right back at you. Might seem somewhat scatter brained as my kids were bouncing through the house being as noisy as could be tonight. I tried to really focus on what I was typing, but......... lost my train of thought at times. LOL If it seems to NOT make sense.......You'll know why. hahahaha
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